Living with MBC has a lot of unknowns. It’s the vicious cycle of treatment, scans, blood work and hoping the current treatment plan is working. There is always anxiety when waiting to find out the treatment plan is working.
The realities of living with Metastatic Breast Cancer is its unpredictable; add to that the change from my initial diagnosis of hormone positive to now triple negative. Doctors visits, tests and infusions become part of the norm, all while thriving and living life to the fullest. Finding balance with everyday and living with the unforgiving reminders, whether it’s hip pain while running, or feeling nauseous days following infusions. Metastatic breast cancer can be relentless, often when I’m just hoping for a little break.
Still trying to wrap my head around changing treatments again, and doing so, so quickly. There was some tangible hope that just maybe Taxol chemotherapy was what I needed to eliminate the new spots of cancer that are trying to make their home on my liver. I, we were in shock, which quickly turned to anger; with the recent scans for once in what’s been a frustrating year I can’t catch a break. I am now scared, I’m always scared but lurking in the back of my mind is the “5 year mark” statistics say, and another treatment that doesn’t work. I find myself digging deep at times, holding on to hope, sometimes feeling a little defeated with every change. I am reminded continuously what I’m fighting for, sometimes in the smallest ways or the biggest, but all reasons quitting isn’t an option.
Living with metastatic breast cancer is about finding balance between quality of life and quantity and truth I’m not budging on either. I feel like the walls are caving in, another change which may or may not work to now not one but two aggressive forms of new chemotherapy. I strive to maintain hope, and hold on to the fact that I am here, I’m fighting and never giving up.